My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category


Posted by Cauri on July 3, 2007

Trunk Bay, St. John:


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It’s been a month

Posted by Cauri on February 12, 2007

It’s been almost a month since the last time I’ve written.  I’ve been a little busy. 

At four months old, the puppy is getting pretty big pretty quickly, gaining a pound or two a day.  He’s such a joy to be around.  He’s so playful, sweet, and loving, an amazing companion.  He’s also fairly calm, fiercely loyal, and fiercely obedient.  It amazes me how smart he is (and also makes me nervous about what’s to come in the future).  I look forward to taking him for walks now, discovering new trails, seeking solitude.  It snowed just about every night last week, at least a dusting, so it guaranteed we’d be the only ones on the trails.  We definitely took advantage of it.  My brother, Bruno, and I went for a two-hour walk, and we didn’t run into anyone else out there.  We let Bruno off the leash, and he followed right along, never straying from the path, never wandering more than 20 feet ahead or behind us.  He’s an amazing dog.  I don’t think I could deal with puppyhood in any other breed after being spoiled by this dog.  I’ve just started looking into Great Pyrenees, because they’re beautiful.  I think their personalities sound similar to Dobermans, but I don’t know how well I’d tolerate all that shedding.  I could definitely tolerate naptime in that fur though.

So my mornings have been spent with Bruno.  My afternoons have mostly been spent babysitting one main family lately.  They have one three-year-old son that I’ve been watching for 2-3 hours a week for a couple years now.  Even though I haven’t spent nearly as much time with him as I have with kids I nannied for, I’ve still developed a real bond with him.  He’s an incredibly smart and well-behaved kid and the parents are great people who’ve never, not once, not ever, bragged about him.  And I think that’s why he’s truly such a gem of a child.  And on January 31st, they gave birth to another little gem–a sweet little girl.  And now they’re moving next week.  So I’ve been spending a lot of time over there, playing with the 3-yr-old, and giving the mom a break at this point when they have so much going on.  It’s been difficult for me, and I’ve actually broken down to Ryan a couple times over the past week, because out of all the families I work with, this is one that I actually look forward to spending time with.  I love that little boy, and it’s really hard to accept that I will probably not see these people again.

And so I’ve cut way back on the other families.  I actually didn’t show up to someone’s house, for a number of reasons.  Number one being that the mom drove me crazy and would call me at 8:30 in the morning to see if i could come over within the hour and kept insisting that I should keep babysitting through next fall instead of looking for a “real job”, since “Babysitting is such good cash!”  This woman paid me $8 an hour, always for only an hour or two, and always paid with a check, and last time I lost the check and cursed the world because that was $30-worth of free babysitting for a woman I couldn’t stand anyway.

This entry just went all over the place.  That’s what happens when you haven’t written in a month.  So I guess now I’ll state that I’ve gotten so tired of the fact that every time I turn on my cell phone, every day of the week, no matter what time it is, there are 4 new messages from people asking if I can come over today, and it’s really getting on my nerves.  I don’t exactly have any time to drop everything and rush over to other people’s houses so they can get their desperately-needed time away from their kids.  And I will conclude by saying that I spend the second half of my day, from 4-11 in classes.  And that is another entry all its own.

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Bruno’s Snowball

Posted by Cauri on January 19, 2007

Today was Bruno’s first day experiencing snow, so Brett made him a snowball.

Bruno enjoyed it on the couch.

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last weekend

Posted by Cauri on January 3, 2007

Last weekend Ryan and I headed down to A.C. for a night to see Bouncing Souls and to gamble, as part of Ryan’s xmas gift. Nothing compares to being drunk and eating breakfast at some skeevy diner at 3:30 in the morning. It was actually a blast. It was just what I needed, after two weeks of being couped up in the house on antibiotics & Cepacol, to be able to let go and drink and be merry with my love. On Saturday we went to see one of Ryan’s friends’ last shows and then headed out for more drinking and merriment. On Sunday, New Year’s Eve, we were being pulled in a million different directions, and we were both burnt out and didn’t really feel like doing anything. At 8:00 we said, “Screw it, we’re staying in.” We went out and bought two bottles of wine, a bottle of champagne, and got sushi delivered. It was heaven.

We were drunk by nine, while watching Seinfeld dvds and playing Hoopla. Around 11:30 we’d had waaaay too much to drink and got in a fight about something incredibly stupid. We cried for about 20 minutes and at midnight we were kissing again. His parents called at midnight and his dad was shouting, “We love you, Courtney!!” and that made me burst into hysterical tears. His parents are such sweethearts who have completely opened their hearts to me, and it was just overwhelming to realize how lucky I am. I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my new year’s.

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A Most Sickly Christmas

Posted by Cauri on December 27, 2006

A very quick update, because I just woke up and there are Christmas toys to play with.

This season filled with holiday joy, warm spirits, and the people that you love, came crashing down around me last Friday night. I couldn’t sleep for longer than 30-minute stretches, my warm little body fighting to keep my fever under 103 degrees. On Saturday I was miserable, my throat was sealed shut, and I had to talk to my love with a pen and paper. Went to the doctor only to learn I had strep throat. The next three days, which are supposed to be the happiest days of the year, were spent eating ice cream and sucking ice cubes and crying because all sorts of fancy foods, like mashed potatoes, stung too much and I couldn’t get them down.

Luckily, I was surrounded by the ones I love. And Ryan was lucky enough to be surrounded by me, and for me to be able to take over his room. I slept almost the entire weekend, waking occasionally to throw up in his garbage, because I ate too many cough drops or used too much throat spray. And then I would whine for an extra hour, because that meant a whole hour without sucking an ice cube or going near another cough drop.

On Christmas Eve, we came home to my house to be greeted by a monsterous puppy who was just off the walls. I took him out to pee, which meant Bruno couldn’t decide which way he wanted to go, which sticks he wanted to chew, which leg he wanted to get tangled in his leash. I struggled with him for a while out in the cold before giving up and bringing him back inside, where he promptly walked over to his bed and peed. Then he came prancing over to me and bit my arm. I yelled, and he growled back at me. I stuck him in his crate until the barking and yowling was killing my sick little head, and then Ryan played with him until my dad came home. That night, I was up again with the tossing and the turning and the fever, and before I knew it, it was Christmas morning.

I did have an amazing Christmas with my love, but already I’m tired of sitting up and typing, so all the amazing presents and quality-time stories will have to wait =)

On that note, I’ll leave you with a picture of our little Christmas devil.

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You can be honest…

Posted by Cauri on February 13, 2006

Nice things: 

Not so nice things:

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