My Only Way Out

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  • March 2007
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Next summer

Posted by Cauri on March 27, 2007

So Ryan and I have been talking a lot lately. The past few months have just been incredible. We’ve been the ultimate team, laughing, loving, and really living. We’ve been making time to just get out and enjoy the world…Doing random things to make each other happy. We’ve also spent a lot of time watching HGTV and planning our dream house.

On Sunday we were driving around Ryan’s work looking for houses for sale. We’ve started a plan. Well, a plan that relies mainly on me landing a decent full-time job in the fall or it will otherwise fall apart, but a plan nonetheless. And then that plan includes finding a cheap apartment in the fall (Cheap meaning under $1000, which, may be impossible unless we move to Newark) and then scrounging until next summer, when we could possibly buy a home.

When we got home, we were just holding each other, all excited about our plan, and it’s really hard to put that moment into words. It was sort of like, our identities just disappeared. Nothing mattered in that moment except for our connection. Nothing negative or even individual could be discerned. We were just one being. It was pure love. I’d never experienced anything like that before, and in the moments following, we were talking about a spontaneous wedding. A quick, book-your-flight-to-Vegas-and-Elvis-impersonator-on-Expedia wedding. I’ve been struggling with all sorts of issues related to my mother and how to avoid any familial negativity on my Special Day when people begin to realize that my mother won’t be attending. And this Elvis plan, this would’ve been an easy way out. But this time, I don’t exactly want the easy way out. I want the real deal.

So yesterday, I was googling “castles in ireland” and “weddings in ireland” and I was getting all fairytale. Except most of those castles require that you fly 200 people out there and schlep 200 people from the nearest airport to the magical castle and then you house 200 people and feed 200 people and it started to get a little complicated. I might not want the easy way out, but I do NOT want complicated. So I was fiddling with Google Earth, and I wandered to where I always wander, at least once a week, back to Acadia, on Mount Desert Island, in Maine. I googled “Acadia weddings” and was surprised at what I found. For $50, I can have my special day in the park–at whatever magical spot I happen to fall in love with–I’d have my pick of the park. Immediately, I was going back through pictures, recounting endless memories, and it just made complete sense. That is where my relationship absolutely solidified with Ryan. That is where we really knew how much we loved each other. That was when we knew we’d last forever.

It’s perfect. I immediately came up with a list of the most important people to us, and we do not need 200 people there. It’s more like 20. I do not need extended family there, just my best friends, my dad, and my brother, oh and Bruno, who would absolutely have to be there. And I’ve been looking through the vacation houses, and it will be so easy to accommodate people. We could get three huge houses for the week and have everybody split up between them (Costing each person about $200). Or individual couples can rent their own cabins for the week (Which can be done for $600, like we did last year) and we would all get a week-vacation together. It will be a blast.

So now this is practically all I can think about. About finding a photographer who really knows the mountains. About contacting the Lompoc Cafe, where every third song is another Tori song. About finding the perfect dress. About telling my friends. Sometimes I stop myself, because, oh wait, I forgot to wait until I got engaged! But that part doesn’t even matter. That’s a given. I don’t even need to go through that process, but Ryan does want to be able to call each other fiance. So we will get there. This summer, we will probably go back to Acadia to find the “perfect spot” and start getting all the little details together. And next summer, it should all come together.


2 Responses to “Next summer”

  1. Lucy said

    Hey Cauri,

    I’m excited for you!! I just had to post as I have this RSS feed thingamy that alerts me to weddings as I am preparing to become a wedding planner (for very small weddings in Ireland) and just wanted to say – don’t give up on Ireland!!

    There is a tiny castle that I introduced to some people from the States 2 years ago – banqueting & accommodation for 16, you can do what you want with regards to the reception etc etc.

    Just thought I would throw that into the mix!

    All the best,

  2. Ryan said

    You can not even imagine how much I am in love with you. You are by far the most amazing individual I have ever encountered, we are the best team and we will stay strong forever. I was thinking about you from the second I got off the phone with you tonight, I just miss you so much, I was hoping I could come home to your welcoming eyes and your warm smile. I just want to cuddle up with you and give you kisses all over your face, then my heart would be happy for the night. You are my perfect other half, and I cannot wait for our life together. Our whole life is laid out right in front of us….

    Oh, and babe…. I’m singin’ a loooveee sooong… 🙂

    Love You,


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