My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

back to school

Posted by Cauri on January 16, 2007

Ugh, I have to leave for school in an hour, and I’m freaking out!  Where did my break go?  Ohh, I hate the first day going back to school.  I think I’m so nervous because I have to face the classes that will make or break my career.  Luckily, I just have forensic psych tonight, and then I’m going to the devils/rangers game with Ry, my dad, and Wuss.  That’ll be a fun little reward for surviving my first day back at school.  I don’t know why I’m so nervous.  My stomach is in knots.  I feel like I’m 18 again, and this is all new to me.

At this point, I couldn’t possibly be more focused on graduating.  It’s consuming me.  So I guess I’m just starting to feel the weight of all the pressure.  The months are speeding by, and it really comes down to this semester.  I also need to become involved with some sort of a career process in the fall…or at least some type of job that doesn’t involve changing diapers.  I am seriously considering focusing on writing (of some form or another, children’s books, perhaps?), at least for the time-being to see if that leads me anywhere.  I need to bring my creativity back into play.  I need to tap back into that free spirit of who I used to be.  Somebody who wasn’t so anxious all the time, somebody who didn’t have a zillion goals and deadlines and obligations on her mind every second of the day.  I need to let go, I need to relax, I need to slow down and breathe every once in a while.

But I also need to do extremely well in my six classes this semester, or else my life will be forever ruined.

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