My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

What they don’t tell you about doberman puppies

Posted by Cauri on December 21, 2006

This Bruno thing is wiping me out! I don’t have much time to write this, because who knows how long that puppy will be asleep, but I thought I should just make a quick list to sum up my past week.

Things They Don’t Tell You Before You Agree to Buy a Doberman Pinscher Puppy:

1. He will cry and shriek and bark and howl nonstop for the first three nights in his new home, waking up everyone in the neighborhood.

2. You will need to stuff tampons in his ears and re-tape them to stick up on top of his head every three days for the first six-eight months of his life.

3. Even in a household that consists of three adults, each taking turns to care for the new puppy, nobody will feel refreshed and energized when it is their turn again. Everyone walks around with bags under their eyes. Everyone is snappy. Everyone is exhausted.

4. Out of all of his “tough” toys, his favorite will be the rainbow-colored squeaky toy, so you might want to prepare yourself for the 24-hours of rhythmic squeaking a day.

5. This big, tough, ferocious dog will cower when he hears certain life-threatening noises, like the sound of a schoolbus driving down the street, or the sound of somebody making ice in the kitchen, three rooms away.

6. The same big, tough, ferocious dog will only sleep soundly if he falls asleep in a cozy lap and is carefully carried to bed. He will then need four soft kisses on the back of his neck and will need to hear what a “good, sweet boy” he is, whispered in his ear.

7. And because we have a “super” doberman pinscher (i.e. he will grow to be 120 lbs.), he needs to eat a lot, which means he needs to exericse a lot. This we knew. What we didn’t know was that in the middle of a long walk, in the middle of the woods, our strong little puppy, who a minute ago was running at lightning speed, will just give up. He will lay his adorable little puppy body down in the middle of the path, and you will need to scoop him up, carry him up the large hill, and all the way home. You will then need to carry him to his bed and repeat the second half of #6.

If you couldn’t already tell, Bruno has completely changed my life.  And he is absolutely adored =)


3 Responses to “What they don’t tell you about doberman puppies”

  1. Jonathan said

    I was laughing the whole way through your article. I have an 8 month old Doberman, and my experience has been very similar to yours. I especially love point 7, where he just quits walking. Been there, done that. It gets better.

    Bruno is a beautiful puppy.

  2. Marilyn said

    Perfectly describes what we all go through in those early months. Our Xena is now 1 year old and we went through all of the above. It certainly does get better, and one day you will wake up and he will be the most brilliant dog ever – you wait !!

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