My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

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  • December 2006
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Oh shut up already

Posted by Cauri on December 8, 2006

I’m sitting at home postponing this stupid experiment I have to do for my psych class.  It was thrown together so quickly and my teacher totally changed everything I’d aimed to do…I’m half tempted to wander around campus and just collect signatures & create data myself.  Or hang out at starbucks and get them all to do it.  I just feel like an idiot because it’s not even what I wanted to do anyway (it’s half on meditation, half on anagram solutions).  My teacher had us all throw this together in two weeks, and he wants me to spend 20-30 mins with each participant, which just isn’t going to happen.  I think I’ll give myself three hours at school this afternoon and see how it pans out.  We aren’t even being graded on the experiment, just on our papers, so I guess I’m just sort of rebelling.  I just hate when people take my ideas & mess around with them and then create a new set of rules for me to follow.  I think this is the 13-year-old in me coming out.

I can’t stop worrying about things either.  I might be about to explode.  There is always something to stress over.  Every time I get over one hurdle, something else comes to the surface.  Once I get past this experiment mumbo jumbo, I need to prepare myself for Ryan’s bday.  It’s not like I can talk about what I’m planning here, but I basically planned a whole day for him in the city (which he knows), but now I’m freaking out about timing, and will we have enough time to get from A to B and will I have enough money for C and then should i just throw D out the window because we’re already doing a lot and on and on and on My mind will not shut up.  And the day after Ryan’s bday,  I get to freak out about my last week of school and my finals papers, oh and then my exams next monday.  And then the monday after that?  Christmas.  The monday after that?  New Year’s.  The monday after that?  Oh, nannying 65 hours that week.  And after that?  Oh, time to start my new classes.  It’s freakin December 8th and I’m already freaking out about my class load next semester!!

I think I need a little yoga, a little meditation, and then I’ll worry about hunting down people for my experiment in the 17-degree weather.

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