My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

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  • October 2006
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Capable of Anything

Posted by Cauri on October 17, 2006

During the past couple months, I started getting very annoyed with Ryan’s job.  They don’t care about their employees, they’ve just been letting things fall apart, and they’ve just been letting people go.  He’s been working his ass off and coming home exhausted after dealing with lazy, irresponsible people day after day after day.  When I get a break between classes and have just enough time to eat a snack and give him a quick call, he just rants and rants until time is up and he has to return to his job where he busts his ass but doesn’t feel appreciated.  I’d get frustrated with him, not understanding how he could work so hard for people who didn’t seem to care about him.  He’d just reply that he had to do his job.  He’s been going on interviews for almost a year now, but nothing’s really felt right.  He hit the point where he didn’t even care that much.  He didn’t even sound excited to go on interviews–He started to dread them, fearing that taking time off from work would just leave him with more stress piling up when he was away from the office.  It’s been a big headache for both of us. 

About three weeks ago he called me, and for the first time in a very long time, he sounded excited to go on an interview with a fairly new (growing) company.  I left class early last week and headed out with him for good luck.  He was nervous, but he looked amazing and confident, and I could just feel that things were changing.  I handed him a letter before he went in, telling him he had no limitations, that he was capable of anything.

Yesterday, he got the call.  They offered him the job, and they offered it to him for way over what he had asked for.  His salary will be almost doubled.  They want him to come into the job feeling valued and motivated.  When he called me and told me, I wanted to scream.  I had tears in my eyes.  I didn’t know what to say.  Now that it’s been 24 hours, it’s starting to sink in, but I’m still in a state of shock.

This has affected me in some strange ways.  I’ve gone through a wide array of emotions since I first heard the news.  Immediately I was immensely proud of him.  I was experiencing a happiness I’d never felt before.  I revelled in the fact that all of his hard work, perserverance, positive attitude, and strong work ethics weren’t going unnoticed, that in fact, they were forcing him to accomplish his goals.  He’s not even 25 yet, and already he’s reached a level that he’s been dreaming about. 

This immediately led me to think about my own goals, and how I hope I can be as successful as Ryan in a few years.  Then I realized all of my fears of not being able to afford an apartment in a year or two are gone.  And that, yes, this year has been very rough, but next year, when we both have jobs that we enjoy, it’ll be so much easier.  And then I was thinking about next Christmas, and how we can be living together, and we can get each other magical presents, and we can go on dream vacations.  And then I thought about our wedding, and then I thought about having twins, and…

And by this point I had Ryan really freaked out, since he had just been offered this job, and the thought of twins hadn’t entered his mind.  Basically, yesterday was such a huge milestone.  It’s like Ryan’s sense of who he is, what he brings to the table, and what he is capable of achieving was validated.  He just laid the groundwork for his future, and he can only go up from here.  It’s amazing, the confidence that exuded from him yesterday–He has grown up.  And I feel incredibly lucky to have been by his side to witness this change.  He knows who he is and what he wants and he can’t settle for less.  Right now I’m tagging along in his shadow, hoping to learn a few things about myself in the process.  

So far I’ve realized that we really are capable of anything, and nothing can stop us. 

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