My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

How about equality

Posted by Cauri on October 10, 2006

I fixed my computer.  About a month ago I was convinced that my computer had in fact contracted a terrorist virus, but apparently, it was just an odd sequence of events and nothing more.  I’d been checking my email, when Outlook crashed.  I then opened up my internet explorer, and my homepage was some Republican “War on terror” Iraq site.  I went to type a new url and, no matter which button I pressed, it just typed “6666666” into my address bar.  I figured I had an Iraq terrorist virus and didn’t touch my computer for a month, but it turns out that my dad changed my homepage to piss me off, and I just needed a new keyboard.

I’m off to school, but it’s hard to drag myself around today.  I have an hour break today, and I don’t really have anything to look forward to reading.  I’m not sure I make a good feminist anymore.  I have a book called Solo, and it’s a collection of independent women’s adventures around the world.  The first two stories really bored me (and the first one wasn’t really an adventure at all, but more of walk.)  And so far the book has made me realize that I love having adventures with Ryan by my side.  We still achieve a quiet, meditative state when we hike together.  And we come out of it quickly the second one of us wants to make the other one laugh, or point out something odd along the way, or simply share our thoughts and feelings with our love.

I also have this other book.  My friend from starbucks let me borrow Cunt by Inga Muscio.  (It’s called cunt because that used to be a term for strong & powerful women, but of course now it has a slightly more negative meaning.)  It’s humorous in the fact that the cover merely says Cunt, and there’s a giant picture of a flower.  She’s got a good theme of women empowerment, but I can’t really get into it.  I feel like the first chapter is just whining and man-hating, and actually, I don’t hate men. 

I’m sort of joining a local feminist group (kinda a branch off of Now, but just for younger people in the area), but I’m afraid this problem I have is going to get in the way.  I don’t hate men, and I can’t make myself hate men.  But shouldn’t feminism be about equality anyway?  Isn’t that the point?  Am I just lucky that my boyfriend is as sensitive, caring, and nurturing as I am?  That we balance each other out and compliment each other perfectly, and I’m sorry, I know that there are violent and vicious men in the world, but there are also a lot of violent and vicious women.  They probably just about balance each other out.  Does this mean I can’t be a feminist?  Because I hold myself as an equal to my boyfriend, instead of holding myself higher?

Maybe I need a lighter book.

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2 Responses to “How about equality”

  1. Lauren said

    Being a feminist doesn’t mean you hate men. Some feminists do, in fact many believe that it goes hand-in-hand. Feminism is simply knowing yourself to be female, embracing it, and realizing that it doesn’t make you less than men. You don’t need to run around burning bras and hating men. That’s like…extreme feminism and is rather scary.

    I love being female, but I don’t allow anyone to cheapen that by suggesting I am less than they are. I -am- a woman and I’m just as good as any man out there.

  2. Cauri said

    That’s very true. It’s knowing who you are and how you expect to be treated and not settling for anything less.

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