My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)


Posted by Cauri on August 21, 2006

I have a strange relationship with avocadoes lately.  I’ve been eating three or four a week.  I’ve been having intense, insatiable cravings, as if I necessitate having creamy green fruit drifting through my system at all times.  I’ve tried to cut back.  I try to limit myself, telling myself sternly, “Only have one half of an avocado on your cheese sandwich this time.”  But minutes later I find myself maniacally scooping and re-scooping the hollow shell of my victim.  This weekend I was strong.  I was at Ryan’s, where I had no access to avocadoes.  I had to settle for healthier options, like pizza and beer.  This morning I had work, so I ate an avocado-free veggie sandwich.  Then I came home.  I put on my pajamas, sat myself in front of the computer.  And then the cravings kicked in.  I tried to ignore them.  I figured, it’ll be naptime soon enough, i can eat something when i wake up.  Finally, I decided to just quickly make myself a cheese sandwich and then head upstairs for a nap.  And that’s when it happened. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the round little body, surrounded in black leathery skin, lying there in a bag on my counter, next to a giant fresh onion.  My eyes lit up, and for a moment I wondered, if ten years ago, I would’ve been as excited by a collection of green goop.  Nevertheless, I threw everything together as quickly as possible (onions, tomato, cheese, and loads of the creamy green stuff), amounting in a giant, multi-colored sandwich.  Whatever wouldn’t fit on the sandwich encircled it on the plate.  Minutes later, I was staring at an empty plate, covered with a green dusting.

Do I feel guilty?  No, I feel immensely satisfied.  And about ready for a nap.


One Response to “Guilty?”

  1. Lauren said

    You crack me up.

    Seriously, though…sounds like one of the most disgusting sandwiches EVER. lol

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