My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

just the usual stress

Posted by Cauri on June 26, 2006

I had a pretty good weekend.  Friday night i closed at work (and my mom did not try to come and see me).  Then I slept over Ryan’s, and saturday i babysat in short hills from noon till midnight.  It was gonna be an overnight thing, but plan’s changed at the last minute, so i was glad to be able to go back to ryan’s again.  Sunday we did some shopping, because i really really need new summer clothes.  I was just looking for t-shirts and skirts, but after a couple hours of shopping, i only found one soft green t-shirt that i loved!  So any suggestions for original places to shop for pretty clothes (online or off), let me know.  I had a sunday dinner with ryan’s family, and it was really nice.  I really really like his mom and feel completely at home there now.  I’m feeling like she’s the kind of person I will be able to turn to in difficult times.  She’s really easy to talk to, and she really understands things.  It was a really nice dinner. 

Then Sunday night I came home to my own family, and my brother (who spent the whole weekend with my nightmare mother) gave me so much shit about how i’m “turning away people who really care about me” and how much I’ve changed and blahblahblah.  He was being a total asshole, and he was trying to give me a guilt trip over garbage with my mom that he’s just decided to completely ignore.  It really pissed me off.  I called Ryan crying into the phone over how he’s the only person i can really trust, and “how can my own family treat me this way?”   I was half tempted to run away in the rain in the middle of the night back to ryan’s house, but i remembered that my dad loves me, and he supports my choices 100%.  I woke up after five hours of sleep to open the store this morning.  It was nice being surrounded in caring customers…even though i don’t really open up about my personal life, they’re always nice to talk to, they always cheer me up.  The family stuff is just dragging me down.  I’m mostly surrounding myself in thoughts of Maine right now.  Where to go, what to do.  It’s a little escape with my love.

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