My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

It’s hard enough even trying to be civil to myself

Posted by Cauri on June 23, 2006

Headache.  So there's been a hold on my checking account for about two weeks now, since my dad "owes" $8,000 to my mom.  (Which is complete bullshit and my mom actually owes us money since she hasn't paid child support in about 6 years, But try explaining that to a court system where the mother is automatically favored.)  So a $60 legal fee was taken from MY account, and now there's a hold for $350 on MY account, which means i bounced a check, which means my MOM's fucking stick up her ass is screwing with my credit.  I'm beyond pissed.  I think the jersey girl in me is coming out.

So, basically, i have no need to continue a relationship with her.  In fact, if i came in contact with her, my hands would probably end up around her neck and there would be a lot more jersey-girl words coming out of my mouth.  I went for a relaxing pedicure with marianne yesterday, and she let me know that my mom (who lives in south carolina) is coming up here tonight.  She'll be staying with my cousin for the weekend (My cousins who now think i'm a horrible person because i don't return my mom's calls, and all they ever hear is my poor mother's side of the story…Always the victim.)   And they all plan on coming into starbucks everyday this weekend until they run into me.  What the fuck kind of plan is that??  If they came into my work, do you know how much that'd affect my whole job??  It's the sickest plan.  No, I won't return your calls, No, I don't want anything to do with you.  So why on earth would you stalking me, coming into my place of work, suddenly change my mind?  I'm really scared.  First of all, when I'm at work, I'm Miss Positivity.  I'm the beaming, spreader of cheer.  My shifts always run smoothly because I make sure everyone is happy.  And now i'm shaking.  I'm scared.  And I don't have to be at work for another 6 hours.  I don't even have my mom's cell phone number anymore, I don't have my cousins' numbers anymore (they used to be in my phone) so it's not like i can even call anyone and just say, "Look.  I'm angry.  Don't bother me.  I'll talk to you when I cool down."  If I have to see her I'll have a conniption.  Oh, what to do.


One Response to “It’s hard enough even trying to be civil to myself”

  1. Kestrel said

    I’m so sorry to hear about all this, damn, I can’t even imagine how much that sucks. 😦

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