My Only Way Out

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  • March 2006
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Things are so right

Posted by Cauri on March 5, 2006

I just came home from one of the best weekends of my life.  Friday night i went out to ryan’s, and we got 2 new wines to try and a pizza =)  And we set up his laptop so we could lay around his room and play games against each other online.  Around midnight we went out to the living room to watch supersize me and we were cuddling & nuzzling on the couch, and we had our faces pressed up against each other, and it was one of those moments that i was completely wrapped up in.  I was overwhelmed with love & contentment and i begged him not to let me go yet, because i knew it was a moment we would never be able to duplicate.

Saturday we woke up and headed down to the camden aquarium.  It was super windy and insanely cold and we spent 30 mins outside freezing before they even let us in the doors.  The place was so over-run by uncontrollable children…i was getting so pissed off at parents.  If you’re gonna bring your kids to places like that, maybe you should at least have your eye on them.  I guess I just don’t get it…I know, as a nanny, when i bring kids places, i expect them to behave well..and the second they start acting up, we go home.  End of story.  (Case in point:  I just think the aquarium was a little too crazy.  There was one cool shark tank area that was a lot quieter (and i had to be super brave, and had to cling to ryan and try to completely ignore the fact that there were sharks swimming over my head) And then, Ryan bought me an adoooorable fuzzy hippo =)  and then we left. 

We went into Philly and had an amaaaazing dinner, and then we just walked around for a while…We did the really touristy things that you can’t do anywhere else…like, Go to starbucks and borders…But i just love walking around new places with him at my side…being somewhere different where nobody knows you…and you’re just a happy couple in love =)   And then we came home to play a lot lot lot more games and then scratched to sleep.

Today we were just so in love.  He makes me so incredibly happy.  I love being lazy and staying in jammies all day and just being goofy with him.  I was really sad when it came time to leave him tonight.  We tried to nuzzle like we had on friday night, but i knew we’d never be able to duplicate it–I just had to settle for love in hug-form.  It was really hard to leave.  I had tears in my eyes as i was driving home…it’s just so hard to tear myself away from his world to come back to this life for the week.  Obviously, he’s still in my thoughts every second of the day, and we txt/call and are in contact with each other all day long…We get to do lunches, we get to have dinner at night, but it’s just not the same.  Nothing compares to being totally & completely wrapped up in each other…Falling asleep in his arms, being woken up by his kisses, Going everywhere with him by my side.  I can’t get enough of him.

I was talking to marianne tonight (who lives with her bf) and i was saying that Ryan & I are talking about moving in together, maybe as soon as this summer.   I don’t really want to just rush into anything, but i feel like we’re so ready.  I look at him, and i’m overwhelmed with love for him.  He makes me so incredibly happy…we both work at this relationship, we’re both pushing to better ourselves, to better each other, to strengthen our bond and our relationship…Every weekend that i leave him, i feel even closer to him than i did the week before.  She was saying that she met someone who was 22 and married, and she was just making fun of him and calling him crazy…and…It hit me, that, a year ago (even a couple months ago), that was me.  But things with ryan lately have just been so intense…so unlike anything i could’ve even imagined experiencing this young in my life….  There have actually been moments where i’ve thought, “oh my god if he asked me to right now, i’d be his forever…”   I kind of just responded to marianne like “Yeah, well, i can kind of understand it now.”  When things are right, you just know.

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