My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

your smiling face

Posted by Cauri on February 15, 2006

Yesterday morning i picked marianne’s mom up from the airport, because an 85-yr-old asshole decided to ruin my friend’s beautiful car, but…that’s a story for a different day…So anyway, marianne’s mom was telling me all about her older daughter, who does things a little differently.  She’s vegetarian, she belongs to a worldwide meditation group, and she loves kids.  Sound like anyone you know?  She’s also a teacher in Spain, and next year she’ll be teaching in mexico.  Her stories started making me insanely jealous, because i am nomadic by nature. (except my heart belongs in ireland.)  So basically by the end of this conversation, i had a million places in my head that i NEED to visit in the next year or i’m going to explode.  But it’s not even the need to just visit these places that’s ripping me apart…I’d love to live everywhere…for at least like 6 months, because that’s the only way you really get to experience places.  My boyfriend, on the other hand, will probably be in nj for the rest of his life.  and that really bums me out, because…i always just assumed i’d live everywhere for a good..10 years of my life, before i finally pick a place to settle down (uh, ireland)…but anyway, i guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I did have the best valentine’s day of my life yesterday. (duh, i only have the sweetest, most loving boyfriend on the planet).  Last night we went out to dinner and showered each other in love & affection and then decided to both be lazy together today. My love called out of work, and i actually had the day off for once, so we had a relaxing weekday together, which was wonderful =)  We still had to wake up early to take his car to get fixed, but then we got breakfast and then came back home for a snuggley nap. Then we went to my school because i needed to get health insurance stuff settled & i needed a book. And I’m very, very different when i’m at school. Meaning, as much as i love my boyfriend, i refuse to be a clingy, bf-obsessed, giddy girl when i’m at school. I still send super lovey texts all through classes, but that’s acceptable because nobody knows i’m doing it.  But it was different having him at my side today. It was actually really, really nice having him by my side.  After I got everything done, we went back to pick up his car, and then we took a scenic drive through newark to get home. Then we lounged around in the living room…He was watching seinfeld, and i was reading…and…I can’t explain how warm and comforting it was to look over at his smiling face.  He looked so adorable, i couldn’t look away from him.  When I’m with him, I’m just home…It’s this overwhelming sense of, this is just where i belong.  There’s no way that i could ever go off and explore the world without him…i wish he could be with me always.

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2 Responses to “your smiling face”

  1. Leigh said

    “a scenic drive through newark”…i love it.

  2. cauri said

    ha thanks leigh =) I dunno if you still use lj, but i left you a comment on your post recent post (from november =)

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