My Only Way Out

(is to go so far in)

the world is so little and still

Posted by Cauri on February 5, 2006

it’s been a rough weekend. Friday night i went out with my dad & brother & got drunk and, once drunk, forgot that lately beer has been making me sick, so i drank some beer (only 2 miller lites, so really hardly any beer at all) but still ended up puking into early saturday morning. I was incredibly depressed that it was friday night, and i wasn’t with ryan, and my stomach was killing me, so i was playing with my 2 little mice to cheer me up. I was thinking how incredible it is that they’re such social & loving animals. I finally fell asleep sometime between 3 & 4 and dragged myself out of bed at ten to six, got to work at 6:15, and realized amy wasn’t even there yet. Called and woke Amy up, and when she showed up at 6:45, she whispered that she was still drunk. It was a brutal morning. Of course saturdays are our busiest days at the store, so we took turns between who got to sit on the floor and hold their head in their hands and who had to deal with customers. People tend to be a lot chattier on saturdays too, even when you’re staring at them like, “why are you still talking to me?” and “please, please, please just go away.”  I got out of work at noon though and headed out to bayonne for love.

Ryan & I had an incredible day yesterday. We got pizza (yay =) and played games and drank wine and he cooked dinner and we watched tv and just had a relaxing, loving day. We slept about 12 hours (we did wake up around 11, but we scratched back to sleep), and when we woke up for good a couple hours later, I learned that today was the most monstrous day of the month, with the most monstrous cramps and monstrous backache, and i am still incredibly angry that it decided to come early and ruin my relaxing loving weekend. Ryan made me breakfast and went out and bought me meds & girlie things while i took a bubble bath, but i was still feeling monsterly and totally wasn’t up for going out to the bar with his friends to watch football. So after about an hour of being over-emotional and crying and stalling and hesitating to leave, i finally left, and fought the urge to turn around the whole way home. When I got home, i stepped foot into my room, hoping to be greeted by anxious little mousie faces, and instead, found both mice, lying motionless on their sides at the edge of the cage. And now, for the first time in my life, I have absolutely no pets. And it is incredibly heartbreaking, since caring for furry little creatures is my way of coping with everything else in this world.

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One Response to “the world is so little and still”

  1. Lauren said

    I’m sorry your weekend wasn’t a good one, girlie – I’m also very sorry to hear about your mousies :\ I understand how that feels…definitely feel free to call me any time you want. You know I’m here to rant to!

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