special treats =)

Today was such a fun day at work.  Storytime was awesome.  I love watching the kids come running excitedly through the door and diving onto the storytime blanket.  It's great.  They're all such adorable, funny little kids, and they all know to sit calmly on the blanket now, and it's a really fun hour that i look forward to every week.  We have a new frappuccino (Blackberry green tea =)  that i'm incredibly excited about, so i gave everybody a little sample cup of it and they all slurped it down and told me how much they loved their special treats today =) 

Then it was just me and Amy on the floor all afternoon, and we have so much fun.  I made special treats for every customer that came through the door, and even though not everyone loved the drinks as much as i do, they still seemed happy and excited just because i was happy and excited.  Except for one nasty mean man who demanded, from the back of the line, a latte as soon as i "got the chance".  And then he was nasty to Amy also.  We gave him decaf.  I hope his special treat makes his head hurt.

i can be a monster

I just went through a couple rocky days with ryan…(like, i was taking out my extreme moody bitchiness on him for the craziest reasons).  And now we're in the clear.  It's not something i do every month, but it does happen every couple months, and…I'm such a monster.  And I fight and i storm out for RIDICULOUS reasons, but when i come back to make sure everything's ok, he still covers me in kisses, he stills squeezes me so tight, he still showers me in love.  And i feel terrible for putting him through this bullshit..even if it is temporary…and i wonder if everyone goes through these phases…Does everyone say horrible things to their boyfriends when they're pmsing?  Is it something i'll ever gain control of, be aware that i'm just being moody, suck it up, and move on?  Or will i always be a monsterous bitch?  It's like I hit a point where i realize that i'm just being a bitch, but i'm too stubborn to admit it, so i just keep being even bitchier to him, until he realizes why i'm acting that way, and i guess it's sort of become something he deals with?  But I hate putting him through this.  It isn't fair and it isn't right and the rest of the month i do shower him in love.  I shower him in love during the rocky parts too, it's just that i always have a lot more meanness to me.  It's like every little thing that he's done in the past year that annoyed me but that i bottled up comes bursting out, just because i want to piss him off.  I'm tired of doing that to him.  He's so mature and he's so calm and loving, and so incredibly passionate and would do anything for me,  … For us.  After i have these insane emotions going through me, i realize how ridiculous and immature i was, and i feel so embarassed and ashamed.  He's my love, i don't want to put him through bullshit that he doesn't deserve.